I can’t be the only black person who plays DND in my city….. right?

Recently I ran my own campaign with my ex and my best friend. Playing with them was all I had imagined the game to be. I felt safe enough with them to improvise and let the story take us down a path I had not planned. I want to run more campaigns with people who feel alienated from that community but I’m not sure it would catch on. I have wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons my whole life but ever since I walked into the first comic shop as a tween I knew I wasn’t welcome.

I hate when nerds judge other nerds like…. bro look at yourself. When I approached the cashier and asked when they held DND nights he literally laughed at me and said there was no room. The gag was I already knew that they held campaigns that night (there were three timid dudes already cloaked and ready for battle) and I assumed they would welcome me in or at least let me know when I could come back for a new game. I was just very awkward… as most twelve years olds are. He averted his gaze from me so, I bit my tongue and left. In hindsight I know I would not have had fun with those blond neckbeards anyway, but because of that, I avoided DND for years.

Sometimes I think nerd spaces are so white because people of color are actively alienated from them. A lot of sci-fi and fantasy has been labeled “white people shit”. They think that reading or pretending to be a character and escape from reality is some kind of gatekept privilege. Dude…. if anyone needed to escape reality it was me at twelve years old. I think if more nerdy spaces were diverse I wouldn’t have been so ashamed of it as a kid. Since I already felt like I had a third head being the only black kid in my grade at the time, I had no idea even the nerds wouldn’t want me. That was a rejection I was not prepared for. But I know if there was ever a safe space for non-white nerds exclusively there would be white nerd riots. Look how they have reacted to black people in House of the Dragon and Lord of the Rings.

But I think it would be worth it anyway… right?